BB5 Week 1 Recap

A look back at the first week in the dusty confines of the Warehouse

Team Baggage vs We Got Ice Game 1

Skunk-off

To kick off BB5 we started with the quintessential Warehouse match-up of Baggage and We Got Ice. These guys are the Warehouse. And yet, coming into this tournament these giants are in an abject state, not looking up to the glory of the summit but nervously looking down over the precipice of spending 2025 emblazoned with shame. 

Key Contest

Baggage vs Father Time: I’ll try not to harp on our beloved founding fathers too much, especially after Jake made it clear he’ll knock me out. But almost no match-up better exemplifies Baggage’s battle against time than facing up against the youthful, Tik-Tok’ing, Generation Z analogs of themselves: the We Got Ice boys. We know how much it means to Jimmy and Jake, and with every ball thrown, bat swung and tournament passed the intrusive thoughts in their minds grow louder and louder. Asking if it will ever happen for them. If the Blitzball banner will ever be lifted in Baggage colors.

Turning Point

After his oft-mentioned 0 extra base hits in BB4, Jimmy’s explosion with the bat dragged Baggage back from a dreadful start and snapped everyone to attention. Through the first inning it was a frenetic affair with the players in a giddy haze. But after Baggage managed to erase the 5-run deficit the players locked in and the game started anew. If you want to know just how important this turnaround was, perhaps not just for this game but Baggage’s fortunes in general - just listen to the reactions from the booth and the crowd to Jimmy’s third extra base hit and game-tying home run. 

Pressure Cooker

With the stakes set so high for both teams and the energy of the opening game of a Blitzball Battle, this game was wall-to-wall pressure and as I’ve mentioned, it showed. It took until the very end for the pressure to reach fever pitch, though. This game was 5-0 to We Got Ice after the first inning, they were in position to shut this out without batting a second time and it slipped away from them. They needed just a single run in their second inning and it evaded them. On such a huge occasion, things had unravelled and they found themselves in extra innings looking down the barrel of a devastating collapse to open their tournament. All with the Skunk Patch looming large in the background. Facing Jake’s revamped pitching that had just cleaned up he and Doyle, Zo didn’t blink in extras and with a no-nonsense thump snatched victory back from the jaws of calamity.  

Moment to Forget

The biggest change introduced for BB5 is the introduction of the Designated Fielder, a role which will be filled by Warehouse bleacher creature Ryan Cohen during pool play. He was either brave or foolhardy to agree to be thrust out in the dusty of the Warehouse. If that reality hadn’t set in for him yet, it must have dawned on him after his first call-to-action saw a ceiling ball leave him stranded on his heels before desperately diving forwards to no avail. Here’s hoping it’s only happy memories from here on out for Cohen.

Best Quotes

“So accuracy really wasn’t the issue last season with Zo, it was just the fact he got his balls kicked in by every batter.” - Rosey

“Don’t tell anybody that I tripped.” - Zo, after visibly tripping in front of 50 people 

Player of the Game: Zollop

All four players had a rollercoaster down on the cement with moments that will give them heart going forwards, and moments they will want to move past. In his debut game replacing Zo, Zollop showcased much of the same impressive hitting that his predecessor/clone has in the past, whilst also displaying vastly more clinical pitching.  

Final Score: BAG 6-5 WGI (Extras)

Forgotten Rotten vs Del Caribe Game 2 

Mailman vs Mansion

Our next game brought us two teams in similar positions. Both out of the running for the Warehouse Cup (though with Del Caribe still fighting to avoid getting skunked), their sights are set firmly on Blitzball glory and little else. 

Key Contest

Joez McFly vs The Strike Zone: We all know the deal. No matter how many other factors were at play in this match-up, no matter how many interesting storylines there were, this was the big one. The stakes were massive and lo and behold, the new McFly we’ve all been waiting for may have arrived. His demeanor, his delivery, his velocity, and his accuracy showed improvement across the board. You only needed to see the excitement of Lou Dab on the sidelines to know how positive this performance was. If Joez can keep this up, then who knows what Del Caribe we might see from here. 

Turning Point

We call it The Devastator for a reason and the devilish beam forged of steel and evil played one of its most cruel tricks to date on poor Del Caribe. In matches this close, sometimes it is not the desperate efforts of feeble mortal men that decide who wins, but the mystical forces of the Warehouse. The only run of the game came from an awkwardly squeezed hit from Shelfy that looked destined to fall softly into the waiting arms of Designated Fielder Cohen before The Devastator had its say. 

Pressure Cooker

It’s hard for the pressure to get higher than down 1 with 2 outs in the bottom of the 2nd. It came down to Lou vs Trev, many would argue the best hitter in Warehouse history against the best pitcher. Del Caribe without a hit in the entire game could win the game with one clean swing of Lou Dab’s storied bat. But in the end, the “humble” former pro tied up the mailman swinging and missing at 3 nasty inside pitches to seal the win for Rotten.

Head Scratcher

Everything Plouffe said or did that wasn’t playing Blitzball. Seriously, all of it, especially the shoe retirement ceremony. This was an all-time Trev game. 

Best Quotes

“Trevor Plouffe can take what he said and shove it up his f***ing ass.” - Nicky Cass

“I’m very sorry about what I said, I didn’t mean it, I’m sorry.” - Nicky Cass to Kelsey’s unborn child, immediately after.

Player of the Game: Shelfy

Whilst I’ve given Joez all the attention, the question of whether Shelfy could bring Trevor the support he hasn’t had since pairing with Vinny Rottino was just as much of an impactful variable ahead of this tournament. His hits may not have been pretty, but they moved runners around the bases and he did the business on the mound. Lock your doors and windows, Forgotten Rotten might be back on the prowl. 

Final Score: ROT 1-0 CAR

Woogas vs Love Yas Game 3

Hoping for a Miracle

Our third game of the opening fixtures saw the two teams that whilst still in the mix to lift the Warehouse Cup find themselves on the outside looking in on top dogs Hookline Sinkers and MacFlurry Power. Both these teams need to achieve glory in BB5 and see their rivals falter. 

Key Contest

Dan Rourke vs Himself: Overall, we saw a lot of what we know and love from Rourke: barely-contained rage, wild swings, and a generally unconventional approach to existence. But we did see that rage just about stay contained, an improved pitching performance and a clutch run-scoring single scuffed along the foul line with 2 outs in the first inning. 

Turning Point

For a game that twisted and turned all the way to extra innings, I’m going to go all the way back to the bottom of the 1st to highlight my turning point of the game. The game was 2-0 Woogas, 2 outs, man on 1st and a 2-2 count with Dalton at the plate. Woogas had earned two runs off of Love Yas’ premier pitcher Cass, and if Knorp could close out the inning would be placing a mountain of pressure on Dalton to perform on the mound with the game threatening to get away from Love Yas. The momentum was all Woogas. Knorp stepped up, took a huge lunge towards third base and ripped a low pitch all the way back across the zone towards the bottom corner pipe. Somehow Feely haunched down, reached across the plate and managed to get under the ball and drive it for a double. This was the point at which Dalton and Nicky started building their way back into the game.

Pressure Cooker

After Dalton beautifully cut through Woogas’ second inning, it was the moment we were all waiting for: Dan Rourke taking the mound. The pressure was huge for the pitcher who in his Blitzball career to date has been often wayward and almost always apoplectic. Instead, it was Nicky Cass who saw the Warehouse pressure eat away at him as he was struck out twice by Rourke. First was an ugly succession of wild swings-and-misses at pitches that were never threatening the zone, and after a Feely walk he watched a first pitch strike before again chasing Dan around the zone. After all the focus on whether Rourke could keep up his side of the bargain alongside Knorp, he had his mandated two outs for minimal damage and was given them fairly softly thanks to Cass succumbing to the bright lights. 

Head Scratcher

Now we get to the big one. Rourke had his outs, he’d done the job that so many were doubting he could do. If you’re Knorp you pat him on the back, give him an ‘atta boy, and send him out to the field, right? Well, I guess not. I really can’t offer much that isn’t simply piggybacking on the brilliant commentary/disgust of Moylan and I don’t think much more really needs to be said. Keep your hands out of the cookie jar, Jimmy Knorp, you greedy boy. 

Moment(s) to Forget

Presented… Without... Comment…

Best Quotes

“I’m a f***ing Skywalker.” - Dan Rourke

“It’s deception.” - Moylan referring to Dalton mixing things up after finding success, “It’s deceptively bad.” - Rosey

The entirety of the discussion about Dalton’s glasses

“Congrats too… On being pregnant.” - Nicky after Kelsey congratulated him on Love Yas’ win

Player of the Game: Dalton Feely

With vital hits when it mattered in both regular and extra innings and a dominant performance on the mound to bring Love Yas back into the game, Feely is threatening to cap off The Year of Dalton with a bang. 

Final Score: WOO 4-5 LOV (Extras)

MacFlurry Power vs Hookline Sinkers Game 4

The Rivalry Continues

Finishing up the first round of pool play was another skirmish in the grand battle we’ve seen raging all throughout 2024. MacFlurry and Hookline have been at each other’s throats since BB4 and now face off for the fourth time in four Warehouse Cup tournaments as frontrunners both for BB5 and to be the inaugural winners of the greatest prize ever awarded in a Jersey City industrial complex.

Key Contest

Stoner vs The Speed Limit: All eyes are on Kollin Stone this tournament and if anyone can hit him, but in his first inning most of the focus rested on him reining in his wicked arm and finding comfort back down below the Warehouse’s 70mph limit. Stoner opened up with 3 walks and a single whilst having four thrown strikes called as balls because of speed violations, three of those coming with 2 outs on the board and one pushing across the only run of either team’s first inning.

Pressure Cooker

Drew Davis has by now been firmly established as the Warehouse’s Golden Retriever - he’s young and full of energy, wears his emotions on his sleeves and you could keep him entertained chasing tennis balls every day of his life until his hips give out and the vet has to… Let’s not go there. Pitching at the top of the 2nd with 2 outs and 1-0 lead, Drew was in position to end the game and these are the positions we need to stop seeing him chasing his tail. Instead we saw KMac smash a decisive 2-run homer, and then Drew needlessly and unsuccessfully throw himself at a difficult ball in the field which would have otherwise rolled harmlessly to his elderly partner behind him. To Drew’s credit he collected himself and later closed out the inning with no further damage. 

Honorary Mention: The pressure that the stitching in the seams of Stone and MacDonald’s pants are under. Perhaps the tightest element of a tight contest. 

Turning Point

In such a close game between evenly-matched teams, KMac’s aforementioned 2-run homer can be the only choice as the defining moment of the game. With the pitching on display from these pairs, two runs would probably be enough to win 90% of games between them and as soon as the bat flipped from KMac’s painting gloves so did the power dynamics in the game. 

Head Scratcher

The esteemed duo of Moylan and Rose covered this topic in great depth, but the question still needs to be asked once again: Should Old Man Dan have retaken the mound against KMac with one final out needed to close out the game? It’s not often wise to take the roguish KMac at his word but he seemed truly sincere in his expressed desire to avoid facing Canobbio’s pitching, and this fact was even shared with Dan by Kelsey during the game. It might prove to be a costly oversight by Hookline. 

Moment to Forget

Drew’s fielding mishap could certainly be considered here but ultimately was inconsequential. As such there’s only one choice, the final action of the game as Old Man Dan awkwardly attempted to check a swing at a ball that was so far inside it may have missed two strike zones, only to both fail to hold back his swing and get pegged in the belly button. The drama and tragedy of this moment doesn’t need to be described, only heard, as Rosey’s instant guttural reaction of “Oh God!” and Canobbio’s desperate cries of “No! No! If you call that I’m going home!” tell a story I couldn’t scribe in text with a lifetime of effort. 

Best Quotes

“We have a knob-to-knob situation.” - Peter Moylan

“*Unintelligible Arkansas Noises*.” - Kollin Stone

Player of the Game: Kyle MacDonald

KMac is the only choice here as he took hold of the game with his homer scoring both of MacFlurry’s runs and then knocked down Hookline in 11 pitches to secure the win. Even with Kollin Stone looking rusty he still allowed only one run and everyone will be expecting him to adjust and find his lethal rhythm going forwards, so for KMac to come out of the gates with a dominant performance the defending Blitzball Battle champions have officially put the rest of the league on notice. Watch out. 

Final Score: MAC 2-1 HKL